Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’


As’salamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatu Allah Wa Barakatuhu

 (Allah’s peace, mercy and blessings be upon you)

Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of ALLAH and upon his family and companions.

There was this beautiful woman, who wanted to get married, but she wanted a very pious husband, so she said that she’ll marry the man who recites the whole Quran every single day, fasts for the whole year and stays awake and worships Allah all throughout the night.

She was a very beautiful woman, and a lot of suitors wanted to marry her, but they knew they couldn’t fulfill the conditions she set. Until this one man stepped forward and said he could fulfill them. So the Imam got both of them married.

After the first night of the marriage, the wife sees that the husband doesn’t recite the whole of the Quran, nor does he fast, nor does he stay awake in the worship of Allah, she decided to let it roll on for a few weeks to see if there were any changes, there weren’t, so she filed a complaint and asked for a divorce.

They are both taken in front of the judge, and the judge asked, ‘What were the conditions of the marriage?’ the man replied ‘They were for me to recite the whole Quran daily, keep fast for the whole year and to worship Allah all throughout the night.’

The Judge asked, ‘ did you fulfill them? The man calmly answered, ‘…yes.’

The judge answers, ‘you lie, your wife has said that you don’t, that’s why she’s asking for a divorce’.

But the man insisted that he had fulfilled the conditions, so the judge asked, ‘did you recite the full Quran everyday?’ The man answered yes. The Judge, baffled asked, ‘how? How can you do that?’ The man coolly answered, ‘I recite Surah Ikhlas three times a day and according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), reciting Surah Ikhlas three times is equivalent to reciting the whole Quran.’ The Judge was intrigued, so he asked, ‘how did you fast the whole year?’ The man answered, ‘ I fasted for the whole month of Ramadan, then kept another six fasts in the month of Shawwal, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), keeping all of the fast of Ramadan then keeping six fasts in the month of Shawwal, is as if you have fasted for the whole year.’

The Judge remained silent, he couldn’t give a reply saying the man was wrong, so finally he asked, ‘ how did you stay awake all night and worship Allah, when your wife saw you sleeping?’ The Judge thought the man wouldn’t be able to answer this one, but the man, cool as a cucumber answered, ‘I prayed Salatul Isha with jamaat, then the next day prayed Salatul Fajr with jamaat, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), the one who prays Salatul Isha and Salatul Fajr with jamaat, it is as if he had stayed up all night worshiping Allah.’

The Judge sat there looking at the man; the final verdict was about to be released…

He said to the man and his wife, ‘…go, just go, there is nothing wrong with this marriage’…

Advertisements

As’salamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatu Allah Wa Barakatuhu

(Allah’s peace, mercy and blessings be upon you)

Praise be to ALLAH Almighty….

This question was asked by a sister who want to explain this reason to a Non-Muslim.so i’m trying to explain him in most easy way with truth…if i’m wrong at any place,pls correct me….

World female population is more than male population, Average life span of females is more than that of males Of course By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.

Also, During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

before explaining the matter i would like to tell you that feel that there is no such law,make one Man with one Female….then view the world.

Now….

Who will feed to those millions of women left alone ????

Who will protect them ?

Who will give them food ?

Who will protect there modesty ?

Who will feed to there children ?

Who will fullfill there daily requirements..?

Where they will stay without home ? on roads ???

Yes,You can say they can work! How many can work ???

Imagine a life of women/girl leaving alone,working…..how many guys look at them for the chances ????

What they will do ? How they will get protected ???

thats why ALLAH ALLOWED to HAVE MULTIPLE WIFES…..

After the war on the start of Islam,when there were hundred of females window,whose husbands died in War.

then Allah Revealed Verses and Allowed Muslims to have Multiple Wifes,so that those womens can get protection,space,can live,can get food ….

AND IN THE SAME LINE,OF THE COMMAND …. HE ALSO SAID….

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN’T JUDGE BETWEEN WIFES,THEN STAY WITH ONE ONLY.

Now…Look to the world and you will see millions of females getting protection,food,home….

However there are peoples who miss use the command and use this option for personal gains and sexual desires, then indeed they will pay….they will be punished by Allah….

Every law that has been made, every commandment that has been given by Allah and Islam contains always a proper reason and logic behind it.Now…Look with the Proofs

Marriage from multiple women in Islam is not allowed for those who might result in damaging the society with their marriage by bringing more illiterate, poor, and in many cases starving children to the society.

Look at Noble Verse 4:3

“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice,Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.”

Notice how Allah Almighty allowed polygamy only for helping the orphans (more women are needed to take care of the Muslims’ and infidels’ orphans after every battle.)

Notice also how Allah Almighty ordered the men to be either fair to their wives or else to never marry more than ONE WIFE

Let us look at Noble Verse 4:129

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Here we clearly see that Allah Almighty tells men that they will never be fair to their wives.SO HE SAID TO BE WITH ONE.

Allah Almighty had revealed the Noble Verse 4:3 to Muhammad(S.A.W.) to solve the social problems that the Muslims were facing during the rise of Islam,when Many Muslims and Non-Muslims died in battle with the peoples who were against the rise of ISLAM.

then who will take care of those females who husbands died in battle from muslim side or non-muslim side mens…?????

That is Why Allah,The Almighty allowed multiple wifes,but at the very beginning of the Noble Verse 4:3 we see Allah Almighty setting a conditional clause for Orphans

“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans…(4:3).”

This Noble Verse came down for the purpose of protecting the Orphans and to increase the number of the Muslims by allowing the men to marry multiple wives (preferably from the grown Orphans at that time), up to four wives only.

The purpose was absolutely not for man’s sexual pleasure nor privilege, nor was it to support man’s personal ego. It was revealed to solve a major social problem to prevent major sins such as illegal sex and prostitution.

Having Multiple wifes is not encouraged in the Noble Quran, nor Allah Almighty had allowed it because He really liked it.

He was clearly careful to highly discourage MUTIPLE WIFES to men by telling them

“but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…(4:3)”

which clearly orders men to either be fair or to not marry at all, despite the fact that we lost many men, Allah Almighty still didn’t want polygamy to really take place.

That’s why He later told men

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire…(4:129)”

which clearly nullifies the excuse that He gave them to practice polygamy.

Is this wrong or bad…????? Absolutely not!.

Islam does not allow marriage of multiple wives for males’ sexual privileges and desires as Anti-Islamics claim. A normal man who makes enough money to keep him surviving in life can not provide a fair quality of life to all his wives, which means that he must not be allowed to marry multiple wives because he will only make his society worse.

Yes,there are muslims who missuse the command and marry multiple for personal gains and desires,then indeed they will pay…

Many Islam haters use the verse to spread lies and misconception about Islam,but the most important you will notice with them,mostly they will few part,or half of the verse.Why ????

Why they forget that the commands were reveald to prophet(S.A.W.) whenever there was a need, but they will leave all these things and will make there own meaning of verse.Nauzbillah….

I Just want to say “if you are sitting there to spread lie about Islam,then Indeed We are sitting here to spread the truth and beauty of Islam.InshahAllah”….

And Allah Almighty knows best,

and may He forgive me if I made any mistakes in this article


As’salamu Alaikum Wa RahmatAllahi Wa Barakatuhu

(Allah’s peace, mercy and blessings be upon you)

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!

2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.

3. Smell good!

4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”

6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.

7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:

  • Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
  • Amicable divorce

8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him(when u r alone).

11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.

14. Call his family often.

15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.

17. Encourage him to do good deeds.

18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, insha Allah.

19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.

20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.

23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.

24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.

25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.

27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.

29. Learn to make his favorite dish.

30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.

33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant.

“They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]

34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (R.A.) narrated that the Prophet (S.A.W.S.) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.

35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.

37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.

41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. lol

42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.

43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.

44. Brush your hair, everyday and your teeth too.

45. Don’t forget to do laundry.

46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.

47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)

48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.

49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.

50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)

52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.

54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.

55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.

56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)

57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!

58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel

60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

61. Receite “Ya Wadoodo” as many times as you can after salah….Its One of Name of Allah,which creates love between couples…

May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners,

Ameen!

InshaAllah if you know more ways, post them in the comments and share the benefit.

Zihaan

JazakAllah Khair


As’salamu Alaikum Wa RahmatAllahi Wa Barakatuhu

(Allah’s peace, mercy and blessings be upon you)

Marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquillity, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms

Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. [Quran 20:30]

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (SWT) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a. Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behaviour taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works. The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.”

Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.

Allah informs us about the just rights of each other on us:

The wife’s rights (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband’s) rights with regard to them, although men are a degree above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise. [Quran 2:28]
Consort with them graciously. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good. (4:20)

In today’s life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims.

Let’s take on the men first, here’s how you can keep up your wife’s love:

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. Be humble.
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du’a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.
47. Don’t leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).